6 Years ago...

6 Years ago today (if it is still the 30th when I post this) I gave "birth" to our only daughter, Haley.  Well I say "gave birth" loosely since she died soon after the cord was cut and she was considered stillborn.

I have told some of her story on here before (I'll try to remember to link to that soon) and I want to do a Her Story that anyone can go over & read it from what I feel like is the begining until after her death.  The Her Story would have links over there in her section that is about her on the right side of the blog.  I WANTED too do that before tonight, but didn't get a chance. 

So, I was thinking last night about what I wanted to say about her for today/night & I came up with a "I Remember" about that night so here it goes:

I Remember:

*My Doctor saying that I needed to be in the care of the High Risk OB on call @ the hospital.
*Being admitted into the hospital.
*Laying only on my left side b/c she got better blood flow when I laid that way.
*Not calling Joey until 3 p.m. (I was admitted @ 12!)
*Meeting many people trying to find a way to save our baby girl!
*High risk Doc saying she is dying in the womb & wanted to take her right away.
*Praying while getting the epiderual.
*Being jolted about during the c-section.
*Hearing her cry
*Seeing the back of her head/hair & Joey crying
*Waking back up to freezing in the OR
*Freezing in the recovery room
*Them asking if I wanted to hold her & to have pics taken of her
*I told them "NO" about holding her
*I almost immediately changed my mind 
*The only time I cried uncontrolably was in the recovery room-no one there but nurses & others recovering
*@ first I refused to help the nurse put my to bed in my "room"
*She told me if I coorperated I would get to see Haley & my family quicker
*My friend said she was my sister so she could come be with us (She is like my sister!)
*My Mom, Cousins, & friends were there when Haley returned so we could hold her
*I held her for 2 1/2 hours straight!
*I fell asleep talking to Jan one day (sorry Jan)
*My Doc came in to say he had NO Clue when she became in danger, they'd have to wait for the autopsy report
*My cousin went home & wrote a poem, which she read @ the memorial service
*My Sis-In-Law wrote one also, she read it for us after Haley was buried
*I cried when I saw the baby casket
*David almost fell on it @ the service
*I laughed so hard I hurt after the service was over & when my Aunt visited me @ the hospital

Well I guess that is enough for now.  I remember alot don't I? 
Dear Haley,
I know we never knew you here on this earth, but you brought us such joy your 29 weeks with us & we love you soo much!  We will see you in heaven soon baby girl! Love, Mommy

Oh WOW!!

There is SOOO much I want to blog about,

but just can't possibly at this VERYmoment!

and there is so much to update & put on here as a memory,

but just can't possibly this VERY moment!

Although, a very special blog post absolutely will make its apperance before midnight tonight in honor of our baby's 6th "heaven birthday", so stay tuned!

And then soon will be updates from the month of March, PROMISE!!